Managerial Maverick Gifts

I understand you all have names already, but if I want to assign my employees names I like, Margeret, I'll damn well go ahead and do it!

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Team Leader

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Grandma's caf

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Elevator Pitch

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Gene Therapy

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

Health Care Crisis table.

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

'You just don't seem to be fitting in.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'