Strategic Slacker Gifts

'I'm going to be sick on Monday. I'm telling you now so I don't have to call in.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

The Sedentary Dead.

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

"Won't your boss miss you?"

Intermediate Slouching.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

"Stop doggin' it!"

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Out to Hunch.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

While you were in

"Have you seen Joey?"

"You're a disaster Jones, you've only been here a week and you're already a month behind with work."