Strategic Slacker Gifts

'I'm going to be sick on Monday. I'm telling you now so I don't have to call in.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

"Won't your boss miss you?"

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Intermediate Slouching.

The Sedentary Dead.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

"Stop doggin' it!"

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

'Out to Hunch.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

While you were in

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"Have you seen Joey?"

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'