Serial Slacker Gifts

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'He hasn't been himself lately,notice the improvement?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Intermediate Slouching.

"Won't your boss miss you?"

The Sedentary Dead.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

Boss With Whistle.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

"Stop doggin' it!"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

'Out to Hunch.'

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."