Slacker Extraordinaire Gifts

Pro Procrastination

"Just go home already Walter. I know you don't have kids to pick up."

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

Boss With Whistle.

"And don't think I haven't noticed that tone in your voice lately when you say couch potato."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Intermediate Slouching.

The Sedentary Dead.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Out to Hunch.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"Have you seen Joey?"

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

'The weather was much to rotten to go to work.'

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."