Quintessential Slacker Gifts

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'At least I don't have his life.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

The Sedentary Dead.

Intermediate Slouching.

Boss With Whistle.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'Out to Hunch.'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"Have you seen Joey?"

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

Pro Procrastination

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."

Yonkers Oktoberfest

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."

'The weather was much to rotten to go to work.'