Strategic Mergers Gifts

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

Takeovers.

Fish and color

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

"Benign so far."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.