Strategic Mergers Gifts

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

Takeovers.

Fish and color

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Benign so far."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'