Stradivarius Sleuth T-Shirts

Another Case of Domestic Violins.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

Experts through the ages.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Spy Satellite

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

Two men converse secretively

Net Zero Superstitions

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

I don't trust that guy.

Auditing

We never went to the moon. The Youtube evidence is conclusive. Not the Van Allen thing again." "Van Allen." It is absolutely impossible for human beings to traverse the Van Allen radiation belt. Explain how the Apollo astronauts passed through that radiation belt without either dying or hulking out. They were exposed to a cat-scan's worth of radiation. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

'It looks fishy to me.'

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

Maps

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'