Storytime Sage Gifts

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

'You're consuming way too much sodium. Read the story of Lot's wife, and come back next week.'

'Well, Sweetie, a lawyer is the person who can compress the most words into the smallest idea.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Lady of the bath...

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Paper Route

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

Three Witches from Macbeth

"Less roman, more clef."

Parenting Skills Training

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Sylvia Plath

When cartoonists get ahead of themselves.

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's