Saga Storyteller Gifts

King Marke of Cornwall

'Must you act like a tourist?'

'Something bothering you, Bjornson?'

'Hi! Tonights top 100 sagas will be interspersed with celebrity reminiscences form me!'

"Why so gloomy, Olaf"

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"We only got six days of funding."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Edgar Allen Poe

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

A Fairytale Update

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.