Storytelling Admirers Gifts

"I lived for wine, women and song. Now I'm a tone-deaf, gay alcoholic."

"The Cheshire Cactus"

"Somebody's been sitting in my chair."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

Victor Hugo

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Recalculating route..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Moby Dick

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

This side is the gag reel.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Hansel and Gretal

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"