Storytelling Fans Gifts

"Recalculating route..."

"Remember my frog-slash-boyfriend? Well now he's my prince-slash-fiancé!"

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

The Fourth Little Pig

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Moby Dick

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

This side is the gag reel.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Hansel and Gretal

"This is what's known as a book."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

Alberich steals the gold

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"