Story Enthusiasts Gifts

"I want a story that won't challenge my worldview ."

Chamisso's 'Peter Schlemihl' - Peter Sells His Shadow

Mr. Garland and Kit

"Tell me again how you were the first person to come out of the trees and live in a cave."

'It's a long story...'

London Zoom.

"Multiply."

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Recalculating route..."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal