Storyteller Devotee T-Shirts

"Who cares? The emperor is really buff."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"What did Jesus order?"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"This is what's known as a book."

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Kirsten Johnson

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'