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'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

The Truth

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

Abstraction and recognition

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

'And do you, Cathie, promise to advance Ed's narrative?'

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

"Is there no escape from escapism?"

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

"You can tell you've been promoted over your level of competence when you stop wondering if you've been promoted over your level of competence."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

God's editor prepares for a tough convo

A Book Review of the Phone Book: A hefty paperback with too many characters and not enough plot development. Next week, we'll review a more complex work--your phone bill.

"You remember the ex-husband in chapter one who caused her to reassess her whole life and seek a spiritual awakening? That was me."

"I've been thinking about your bedtime story, and something doesn't make sense."

'Due to scheduling conflicts, the Today show will be seen tomorrow....'

'Not really interested in the meaning of life. I want to know what's going to happen on my soaps?'

"It's plotted out. I just have to write it."

"I'm not so ready for interactive television."