Storybook Followers Gifts

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not at the Kansas State Fair anymore!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Where the wild things were."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Knights of the bedside table.

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Dorothy and Toto

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

Cupid

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."