Storybook Followers T-Shirts

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not at the Kansas State Fair anymore!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Where the wild things were."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

Knights of the bedside table.

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Dorothy and Toto

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Cupid

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."