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The fat boy awake again

'You will meet an enchanted prince. No wait...it's a toad.'

'Mum, how come we're always the bad guys in bed-time stories?...'

"If Mary's Little Lamb can follow her to school...why can't my kid go too?"

Understudies

"'Happily ever after' you want? Then you keep the house kosher!"

"Read me the story again about the closet monster."

'It doesn't say, son, who bottlefed the calf while the cow was out jumping over the moon.'

"Well in this case, Cynthia, it was judicious not to postpone marriage."

"My most recent position was under a house."

Teddy Bear Tea Party.

'But how could the witch fit Hansel into her microwave?'

"Reading YA is passe. We're into picture books."

Rapunzel Rapunzel, let down your hair.

Fairy Storey Car Park

Cupid

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Where the wild things were."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"