Story Reboot Lover Gifts

'Only in your story, grandma and the wolf are in cahoots!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Woman with kids at husbands office.

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Have you been waiting long?'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

William Tell

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Fairy tale

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"