Stormy Satire Pillows

'There is no bad weather, just bad weather FORECASTS.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

"Did you get some work done?"

Night of the Living Reindeer

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

"I give you about ten days, then your head will rot."

"I guess the weather forecast was right."

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"I'm determined to beat the traffic, I just need to work out how they fly."

You'll never believe what that house is for.

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

During the Tempest, Panurge's Courage has Deserted Him. Friar Jean Mocks Him (Rabelais).

"Wow! She's hot."

Wintertime Barometer.

"Save my spot?"

"No giblets, but there's an organ-donor card."

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

"Level with me doc, how long have I got left?"

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

"Don't get me wrong. I love working at the North Pole, I just wish one damn store around here sold non-pointed shoes."

Christmas Eva

Snowman Liposuction.

"Snow angels."

Nooooo! Fall.