Stormy Storyteller Pillows

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Captain in a storm

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Snowman of the Apes

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Daughters at Bedtime

How I met your mother

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Witch dice.

fairy tales

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"I love this time of year."

Fairy tale

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Reading in the rain.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Centaur falls in love.

The Month of June

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

The Battle of the Pictures.

"Hello, Number 6!"

Hog Futures

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Steroids.'