Storm Story Lover Pillows

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Well, we needed the rain."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Have you been waiting long?'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Fairy tale

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'I told you to keep your rice in a plastic bag.'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"

The princess and the key

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth."

"So you don't want to come along?"

RAPUNZELS BAD HAIR DAY.