Stopwatch Sprinter Gifts

Running

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

Professional man hurdling

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Runner going through hurdles.

Runner Bean...

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

Centaur Sprinter

Runner's High, Runner's Low

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

Pit Stop for Track and Field

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

"When it came to running, Kevin was second to none."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

"Business has been so good that I can now pay you a salary...mom!"

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

'Spinout!'

Little girl running alongside athlete asking for autograph.

Overcoming the obstacles of the Internet

'He wears his spikes on the inside.'

Runner with a kick-starter.

Runners have a pay toll.

'I can't promise miracles, but the lung-enhancement surgery should cut, oh, I'd say two or three minutes off your time in the mile.'

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.