Stone Slinger Gifts

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Meet the author

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

Whatever!

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Freedom

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Olympics create interest in curling.

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Pianist-boxer

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"