Stone Lifter Gifts

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Caption Contest TK

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Sculptor's chippings

Things were about to go apple-shaped for Barney and Bart...

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"I was building up my pecs."

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

Stonehenge Imitation

'Remember - when Daylight Saving Time ends, we have to give everything a slight turn to the left.'

Heavy syrup

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'