Stone Lifter Gifts

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Caption Contest TK

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

The First Cone of Shame.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Things were about to go apple-shaped for Barney and Bart...

Sculptor's chippings

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

Unfinished Masterpiece.

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

Stonehenge Imitation

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"I was building up my pecs."

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

'Remember - when Daylight Saving Time ends, we have to give everything a slight turn to the left.'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Heavy syrup

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'