Stone Age Fanatic Gifts

"Shash the turnip with a rock until pulpy and then heat in the nearest volcano."

"Too much club."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Early accounting scandals.

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Used wheels

The Steakosaurus

"You've passed with extinction!"

Fossil bands

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

Fossil hunting

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

The first Dermatologist.

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

Caveman and prostitute drinking at bar talking about the world's oldest profession - hitting a guy in the head with a rock.