Stocking Stuffer Lover Pillows

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Bug hanging up stockings

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"Wow! You've made a lovely job of those shelves in the hallway Gary!"

"There's probably room for one more."

Shop assistant falling in love with a customer

Christmas Cow.

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

"Curling up with a good book is one thing, but now you're taking a shelfie?"

'Just what I didn't want... chocolate euros!'

Kangaroo Pocket

'Oh, Boy! Swine flu vaccine!'

"Holy cow! What kind of crazy people used to live here anyway?"

Man hangs Christmas stocking on tree.

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

Santa Claus

Andy is visited by the Ghost of Thanksgiving Future.

"When it comes to turkeys, Grandma, you sure know your stuffing."

'How come you always get more in your Christmas stocking than I do?'

Santa Claus Hanging in Stocking

'I'm sorry dear. It must have shrunk in the wash.'

"This is the worst job in the whole, entire world! You know, I can't see how anybody would ever want this job."

"I like it when Mr. Rod speaks in Spanish...it usually means he's just done all our work for us."

'Let's take a shelfie.'

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

'How come you always get more in your Christmas stocking than I do?'

A Dog's Xmas

"Let's make your list for Santa! You'll be wanting a satsuma in your stocking for starters..."

Have you hung up your stocking?