Stocking Stuffer Fan Pillows

"Let's make your list for Santa! You'll be wanting a satsuma in your stocking for starters..."

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Running out of Gas.

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Hole Sale

Christmas Cow.

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

'Just what I didn't want... chocolate euros!'

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

'Why does this crazy human keep throwing away my stick?'

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Barista

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

Man hangs Christmas stocking on tree.

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

At little Jessica's tea party, nobody ate a bite, claiming they were stuffed

Santa Claus

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

'How come you always get more in your Christmas stocking than I do?'

Dog at the Returns Desk