Stocking Stuffer Strategists Pillows

'We may run out of toys. Will you accept stocks and bonds.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

I did it my way.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Standard And P****d.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Folding Container.

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Stock market books.

Wall Street Investing.

To Stock Exchange

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

I think I can...

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

'Economist'

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'