Stock Market Thrill-seeker Gifts

"Stocks were bipolar today as delirious euphoria gave way to abject despair and back again."

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

'There is some good news: while our fund lost millions, none of it was our own money.'

'Please, Thornycroft, no more bursting bubbles! Daddy just played the stock market!'

"Last week I saved $20 on a tank of gas and lost $20,000 in the stock market!"

'Was that a good shriek or a bad shriek?'

My NASA stock certificates are worthless? Is that going to affect the free ride on the Space Shuttle they entitled me to?'

These two pictures show my dad's work at the Stock Exchange....

'There's bottom! Oops! That's not it...Here's bottom!...nope...'

It was a day of nosebleeds, stomach upset and right here, Dindley did a back-flip off his chair!

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'Time to buy.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

"Dow's up!"

'A few days away from those sharks on Wall Street will make all the difference.'

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'Tax considerations? Regulatory climate? Labor costs? - Hell, no! We're moving our headquarters cross-country because I feel like it!'

'He has the Big Cheese on his side - But the High Muckity-Mucks will be with us.'

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

Stock Hurricane Ride

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'He's chasing the market.'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

Masochism for stockholders.

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

Wall Street Red Ink.

'Don't jump Pumroy! Just remember: today's frantic selling can quickly become tomorrow's frantic buying.'

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'