Financial Thrill-seeker Gifts

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

Watching the markets.

Investor doesn't want security. She wants to make a big, fat killing and check out.

"Dow's up!"

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'I warned him about that high-risk portfolio!'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"Embezzle is a pretty strong word. Isn't it possible he just forgot where he buried them?"

'The Railway Juggernaut of 1845'

Cashpoint says: 'Your Balance: Maybe you should be sitting down ...'

'Now a look at today's trading figures'.

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'This is going to be very painful. Here, bite on this stick.'

You wouldn't believe how close I came to bankruptcy last year.

Market Roller Coaster.

Profit Cowboy

'He's chasing the market.'

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

'Welcome to 'sink or swim' the reality show that will find the survivor of three entrepreneurs, teetirng on the brink of bankruptcy.'

'Howard's thrilled that he completed his first trade using a PC, except that he's not sure if he bought 100 shares of GM, or shorted the entire NASDAQ.'

Are you really sure you want to go back in there?

A large Euro symbol about to bite off head of unwary investor

'You made me laugh...you made me cry...you made me poor!'

Firework of share-based payments.

'Have no fear, we won't be suffering the same naive investment errors as other councils, I've placed our funds safely in the account of a deposed Nigerian General who just emailed me.'

'Aren't corporate raiders getting increasingly aggressive?'

"I actually prefer having emotional investors as clients -- they're fun to watch."

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

Cash for oil.

'We're going for the big off shore banks.'

Open for Business!

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"