Financial Thrill-seeker Pillows

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

Watching the markets.

Investor doesn't want security. She wants to make a big, fat killing and check out.

"Dow's up!"

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"Embezzle is a pretty strong word. Isn't it possible he just forgot where he buried them?"

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

'I warned him about that high-risk portfolio!'

Cashpoint says: 'Your Balance: Maybe you should be sitting down ...'

'The Railway Juggernaut of 1845'

'Now a look at today's trading figures'.

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'This is going to be very painful. Here, bite on this stick.'

Profit Cowboy

Market Roller Coaster.

You wouldn't believe how close I came to bankruptcy last year.

Firework of share-based payments.

'Have no fear, we won't be suffering the same naive investment errors as other councils, I've placed our funds safely in the account of a deposed Nigerian General who just emailed me.'

'Welcome to 'sink or swim' the reality show that will find the survivor of three entrepreneurs, teetirng on the brink of bankruptcy.'

'He's chasing the market.'

"I actually prefer having emotional investors as clients -- they're fun to watch."

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

'Aren't corporate raiders getting increasingly aggressive?'

Cash for oil.

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

'You made me laugh...you made me cry...you made me poor!'

A large Euro symbol about to bite off head of unwary investor

Are you really sure you want to go back in there?

'Howard's thrilled that he completed his first trade using a PC, except that he's not sure if he bought 100 shares of GM, or shorted the entire NASDAQ.'

WATCH FOR FALLING HOPES & ASPIRATIONS

Seminar: "How to profit from Armageddon"

'Time to buy.'

"It may be a figment of my imagination, Herb, but I thought I just felt another shock wave go through the business community."