Financial Fun-seeker Pillows

'Dan doesn't need summer off. He plays at work all day with something called mutual funs!'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We shouldn't have expected a banker to play by the rules."

Financial advisor reading racing statistics.

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

"Apparently shares can go down, as well as plunging into meltdown and spinning into free-fall."

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"I recommend that you open a 401-K-9 account."

"All of your investments are in medical marijuana. It's more of a potfolio than a portfolio."

"I'm in debt up to my eyes. Only my hat is paid for!"

"Upset with the performance of your big pharma stocks? There's a new drug to treat that. . ."

'The only thing that matters now is inflation. . . Sometimes I wonder why we bother to have inflation at all.'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Stock market full recovery?

Looks like another hostile takeover...

'This is a banking style investment casino.'

'If my dog opens an account, will the interest accrue in doggy years?'

'What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for ten months.'

Not expected to be easily approved for a mortgage.

'We're giving the market three 'reallys', today.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Looked at my investment portfolio.

IRS. I made less money this year than last year because I spent six months filling out my tax form!

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'Time to buy.'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.