Financial Fun Lovers Pillows

Global Airlines - "As I come to the Balance Sheet figures, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"That was a rumor day."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'Till debt do us part...'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Federal Guidelines

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"It covers up all the debt."

Bookkeeping Club

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."