Finance Fun Lovers Pillows

Back by popular demand, our new regular feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ In today's episode: Free financing. Buy a ham sandwich and pay nothing down and no financing for two weeks. Hmm. And after that? 25 percent interest for two years. or we sue. No that's cheap.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Jumping Wall Street.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"That was a rumor day."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'Till debt do us part...'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

Bookkeeping Club

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

Bouncy Castle: May Cause Happiness