Stock Market Superhero Gifts

'As I meant so say, Jenny, I think it would be a great idea for me to show Billy and you how to invest online.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Sales tied in knots

'He's precocious.'

'He's still able to do the work of three committees.'

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Super-Mario Draghi

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

"I've simplified our work process!"

"I learned about the birds and the bees in school. Now tell me about the bulls and bears."

Economic crisis.

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

Safe under mattress.

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'Investments in money funds increased this month on news it TAKES money to MAKE money.'

You can make a quick profit on that one, if you don't mind holding it for a couple of years

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

R. Chones, Financial Counselor: On Vacation. Watch Suze Orman.

Welcome to 'Should've, Would've, Could've', the investment hindsight show.