Stock Market Junkies Gifts

"Oh, we can fly, but we're afraid if we do, it'll send the market into a panic."

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Jumping Wall Street.

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.