Stock Market Humor Aficionado Gifts

"You see? God is punishing us because you bought futures in pork bellies."

British savings accounts

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

Out of control

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

The Contrarian funds

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

Stock Market Research and Analysis

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

The Decline of the Euro.

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.