Stock Market Humor Aficionado Pillows

"You see? God is punishing us because you bought futures in pork bellies."

British savings accounts

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

Out of control

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

The Contrarian funds

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

The Decline of the Euro.

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

'Polly wants a Nasdaqer...Polly wants a Nasdaqer...'