Stock Market Satire Lover Pillows

'No, he doesn't talk dirty but he was owned by a broker and he gives insider trading tips.'

'HARRHARRHARR! Finally! The stock that arouses a feeling of happiness even when it becomes completely worthless!'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

The Contrarian funds

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

The Decline of the Euro.

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Stock Market Research and Analysis

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Euro Problems

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'Line up for your economic recovery treatment!'

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.