Stock Market Escapee Gifts

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Life is simpler in the sticks.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Elevator/Open Range

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'I'd rather be playing football.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Economic casualties.

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

"I wanted a balloon puppy, not a balloon vision of my sad corporate future."

"When I said you could have a summer vacation I didn't mean the whole summer."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

Senior executive holding guitar hitchiking on open road in desert landscape.

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

"I've had to leave the city: the noise pollution was making it difficult for me to fly safely..."

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

'The market was down today substantially on fears that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."