Stock Market Adventurer Gifts

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

Investor doesn't want security. She wants to make a big, fat killing and check out.

"Gas, is it the future?"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

Everybody knows about the bull and the bear but only a few know about the animal that really rules the markets.

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

"It's called 'The Marketplace.' Just keep walking until you feel its inexorable pull. Good luck and stay in touch!"

'We're both collecting Social Security. But my husband supplements our income by losing money in the stock market.'

Stock investing books: Winning/Losing.

"Expect a lot more bull."

'You're at the dangerous age, Mr Frubman. Have you considered buying some 'dangerous stocks'?'

'This is OnStar. We received a signal that your stocks have crashed and have contacted your broker for emergency assistance.'

Victim of the computer age...lost all my day trading profits playing on-line poker.

"This little piggy got totally screwed by the market."

'The city's taken a pounding, but I think we're through the worst...'

"You were right. I should have split my money between high risk stocks and safe bonds."

That's strange --- There's a stock ticker tape in this bottle. It must have been brought by the trade winds.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'