Share Market Adventurer Gifts

'No sir, I'm afraid there isn't a patron saint for investors.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Dow's up!"

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

"Gas, is it the future?"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

Louis Pasteur

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'The bouncing dot.com. bomb.'

The Day Trader

The Gilmore Girls

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

Stock Hurricane Ride

'Exactly how much do you have to speculate before anything starts to accumulate?'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

Stock market ups and downs.

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

"This little piggy got totally screwed by the market."

'It turns out it wasn't an Internet scam after all. It was just a really bad investment idea.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

"Bull market? Depends on which end of the bull we're talking about."

Investor walks tightrope graph balancing risk and reward.

'When daddy comes home, tell him you still love him, even though he lost money with stupid trades in emerging markets.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.