Market Adventurer Gifts

Investor walks tightrope graph balancing risk and reward.

'Made in Australia?'

'What makes you think they're modern fakes?'

Stock market.

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

The Salesman

"How was work?"

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

Myths and legends...

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"Dow's up!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

"Gas, is it the future?"

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Wall Street Investing.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'Fresh eggs!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'