Stock Market Explorers Gifts

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

"Guru? No! I came up here for social distancing but I do some stock trading on the side."

At the market

A child runs an equity stand.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

wealth investment

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"Gas, is it the future?"

'I am going to recommend a stock that has consistently outperformed the market since Tuesday.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

An August Bank-Holiday in the East End.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

'The financial advisor is here.'

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Assets On Hand/Familiarity With Landscape

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

'This is Adventure Capital! You want Venture Capital two doors down.'