Stock Market Explorer Gifts

"Let's have a moment's silence to remember the profits we used to make."

"The main reason Bob trades on-line is his dumb mistakes remain anonymous."

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

'Careful, they sound like cowboys.'

'Oh Cynthia, I must tell you. I just found the cutest little mutual fund...'

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

Financial Advisor. First your assets were frozen, then liquidated, and now they seem to have evaporated.

Sherpas now available to help you climb back into the market.

Investment Books - How to Break Even, for Beginners.

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"Yes, Virginia, you can expect a big dividend payout at Christmas."

Wall Street The Game.

'You want to ask your uncle for investment advice? That's like asking Shaq for free-throw lessons.'

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

Farmer Bill the Broker: Pick your own stocks.

"Your investments went down the toilet. You now own stock in a sewage company."

Low risk, high risk

"Please buy me 500 shares in IMB." "Can you spell that for me?"

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"After ten years you finally sold your LJX stock? Did you ever find out what they do?"

'Honey, it's a huge responsibility to get a puppy and get back in the stock market.'

'Of course you don't need to be rich - we handle accounts all the way down to a million.'

'You've come to the right place. My speciality is investing alimony.'

'These days, the financial markets are dangerous for unexperienced small investors like you. That's why I'd suggest you to hire Tom. He's a professional stuntman'.

Cornucopia of Bankers

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

"Don't ask me why, Sid - Just sell my Guinness stock!"

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

"The initial consultation is free. The buyer's remorse or seller's regrets counseling are extra."

'20 bucks and I'll tell you if we've got the same financial consultant!'

Budget Broker

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

At the market

A child runs an equity stand.