Stock Clerk Gifts

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"Hey! It's rude to finish other people's sentences!"

"I'm not as dumb as you think."

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"You greedy selfish little git."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Fragile stamper.

Why do you need so many computers?

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Cat and INOUT boxes.

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."