Stock Picker Gifts

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

The Scenic Route

He loves me...

Grocery. I hope to work on the business side of TV and movies one day, so I've added "produce placement experience" to my resume. Thanks to everybody keeping stores open and stocked.

'Where did this extra

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"He's very finicky."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"We are now required to tell you to fasten your seatbelt for the following Stock Market report...."

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"Pinching, squeezing, smelling...I love interactive shopping."

No, he wants the other one … No, not that one … No, to your right … No, above that one …

"Eddie, remember, if at first you don't succeed, then call it 'investing for the long-term.''

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"...and then I'll tell you when I plan to go on holiday."

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

Turned out to be a not-so-lucky bottle cap.

Bewildered, Inc. . . Stocks, bonds, mutual funds.

Oranges, lemons and limes.

Now hiring: "Selling short" specialist.

Tomatoes - organic, heirloom, throwing.

"Hey! It's rude to finish other people's sentences!"