Stock Picker Gifts

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

The Scenic Route

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

He loves me...

'Where did this extra

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"He's very finicky."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"We are now required to tell you to fasten your seatbelt for the following Stock Market report...."

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"Pinching, squeezing, smelling...I love interactive shopping."

"Eddie, remember, if at first you don't succeed, then call it 'investing for the long-term.''

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"...and then I'll tell you when I plan to go on holiday."

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

Turned out to be a not-so-lucky bottle cap.

Bewildered, Inc. . . Stocks, bonds, mutual funds.

Oranges, lemons and limes.

Now hiring: "Selling short" specialist.

Tomatoes - organic, heirloom, throwing.

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

"Hey! It's rude to finish other people's sentences!"