Stitching Storyteller Gifts

Psychiatrist knitting

Quilt fanatic

Before Powerpoint Presentations

Cross stitch

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Mother Goose Spoilers

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "

Writing For Dummies Books For Dummies.

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'Thank you for your submission. If we're interested, we'll be in touch.'

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

Patient after an appendix operation

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'