Stitching Storyteller Pillows

Psychiatrist knitting

Quilt fanatic

Cross stitch

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Mother Goose Spoilers

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

Patient after an appendix operation

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

"Constructive criticism? It says I can't write my way out of a paper bag, and you call it constructive criticism."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."