Stir-fry Gifts

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

Full English Breakfast.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Will you still love me when I'm old and crinkled?"

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'Would you like a shake with your fries?'

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

"J'accuse!"

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

'Community wok?'

"As soon as the leaves turn, my hair goes crazy."

Haddock and chips please friar! (monk serving in fish bar).

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

Boiling Oil.

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

Thank God it's Fry Day.

'It started yesterday, after I had a strong curry.'

You have nothing to fear but fear itself, Al. I realize that, Dr. Kapuchnik. That's why I always have my fear with a side of fries.

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"

"So, who ordered the burger platter with endless fries?"

'I want my stir fry to be magical.'

Fish Fries

'You idiot! That one had chips in it.'

"Excellent! This crap again!"